Around this time every year, I get all misty and excited. Joey and Ally's birthday is coming up, and I cant help myself from going back in my head to the weeks leading up to each of their births. What an exciting, and wonderful time that was. And I cannot fathom how I survived 24 years without them. What the heck did I do with all my time? And that huge hole in my heart that only they could fill??
When Mike and I started dating, I made is clear that I wanted kids. NOW. I will never forget the look on his face. He didnt know if I was kidding, or if he should pull over and throw me out of the car. He just got all flustered, and told me that he also wanted kids, but he wasnt ready yet.
I continued to remind him of my need to be a mom regularly, and then one evening over Martinis he agreed. We were 23, and talking about marriage. We both were working, and we were stable. It seemed like a good time to start trying.
Only a few days later, I woke up and ran directly into the bathroom to throw up. Hmmm.....
A week or so later, pregnancy test after pregnancy test came up negative. I was confused and discouraged.
Only then, sitting on my bathroom floor in tears, did I actually read the entire sheet of instructions that came with the test. It suggested you use your first morning urine. What a novel idea. Ok, that is what I will do.
That was Dec 23rd.
Dec 24, Christmas Eve, Mike and I went to Walmart to pick up last minute Christmas doo-dads. And a pregnancy test. I had told him I was going to wait until the morning to take the test.
Christmas Morning.
I didnt sleep much that night. My brother was visiting and staying at our house, things were crazy for the holidays, and I was thinking about the test in the bathroom.
7:00 am. I had waited long enough.
I took the test.
My sleepy eyes watched the test 'develop.' And two beautiful lines appeared. I was pregnant.
I was speechless. I remember not being able to get the bathroom door open, I was shaking so badly.
On my way to wake up my sleeping boyfriend, to tell him the fantastic news, I saw the phone. I couldnt help myself from dialing up my best friend at the time. It was Christmas morning at 7:15 am. She answered on the first ring. (Turns out her kids were sick overnight and she was waiting for the pediatrician to call.)
I told her, "I am pregnant!"
She paused, and in a voice filled with joy, tears, and overwhelming emotion, she said, "You are going to have a BABY!"
My heart fell to the floor, and I stopped breathing. What did she say? Baby?? No, I wasnt going to have a baby. I was pregnant.
Only in the that moment did I fully grasp what was happening here. We only ever talked about getting pregnant. Nobody ever talks about have a baby.
I woke up Mike and told him the good news. He was so happy, he rolled over and went back to sleep. Men.
Anyway, we decided to wait until after the holida y to spring our news. We werent married and we werent sure how our families would react. And it would probably be best if I had at least one doctors appointment to make sure all was well.
And besides, we had other big news. Under our Christmas tree was an engagement ring. We were getting married!!
What a Christmas it was.
So, to make the middle of my story shorter, and to save you from all the boring prenatal details, our families were over joyed when we told them. We found out we were having a boy. And immediately had his name all picked out. He is named after his dad.
The pregnancy was relatively easy. I did what I was told.
I saw a Nurse Midwife for the majority of my pregnancy. I had a vision of a beautiful natural delivery without any meds. And she was very supportive of my wishes.
Until week 36, she went on vacation and I was forced to see my OB. Dont get me wrong, I love my OB. But, he didnt share my vision of the natural childbirth.
At 37 weeks, my belly was HUGE, and Joey was estimated over 9 lbs. He suggested an induction the following week, if I couldnt get labor going on my own. I remember him leaving the room to call the hospital to schedule my induction.
When he came back in he said, I would be admitted on Aug 17th, and then would get pitocin and have Joey on Aug 18th. I got all teary, which I did regularly when I was pregnant. I informed him Aug 18th was MY birthday. I was going to have my baby on my birthday.
Looking back I wish I would have told him I didnt want the induction. But I had waited 24 years to have a baby, and this doctor was telling me I could have him in my arms as early as next week. I couldnt resist. I was onboard with whatever he wanted to do. Ofcourse, as you will learn, it didnt quite work out the way we all had hoped.
Well, we tried every trick in the book to get labor going on our own. Nothing worked.
On Aug 17th, my bag was packed by the door. The nursery was perfect in every way. The car seat was in the car, bottles and pumps were sterilized, laundry was all washed in dreft. Believe me when I tell you, EVERYTHING was ready.
Except for my kitchen floor. For some reason, I felt the need to get on my hands and knees and scrub every inch of the floor, with a 9lb baby in my belly. Crazy, I know.
Anyway, I finally got checked into the hospital. And was given Cervadil to soften things up and get my body ready for tomorrow's pitocin.
I sent Mike home to be with the dog. I was just going to sleep, no point in having him there.
3:00am rolls around, and I have a wicked back ache. Seems scrubbing the floor the day before wasnt the best idea I ever had. The nurses suggested I get the in shower and let the hot water hit my back for awhile.
I did that. No relief.
I called Mike. And pleaded with him to get here ASAP. I swear it took him 7 years to get himself to the hospital. By the time he got there, it was pretty clear, I was in labor. Back labor. Joey was facing the wrong direction.
They started the Pitocin drip around 7:00am.
Around 8:00 they broke my water. That was an interesting sensation. Everytime I had a contraction gallons of fluid came flowing out like a river.
Around breakfast time the parade arrived. My mom, Mike's mom, and my best friend. They sat in the room and watched me labor. Waiting on the edge of their seats for the baby to pop out.
They stayed all day. ALL DAY. My dad came in for a little while. My sister in law popped in for a
little while. I just layed in bed, and waited for my spine to fall out.
My nurses, at the time, were fantastic. They checked me frequently. I requested shots of narcotics as often as I could get them. It took the edge off.
Joey was amazing through the entire ordeal. His heart rate stayed right where it needed to be. He continued to move around. He did fantastic.
Sometime in the afternoon I heard the word C-Section. I knew it was time for an epidural. My worst fear was having Joey go into distress and have to have an emergency c-section. If there wasnt time for an epidural, they would have to put me out. And that was that last thing I wanted. I wanted to be awake, it was important to me to hear his first cry.
So, I requested the dreaded epidural.
Ever have a needle jammed into your spine? No? You should try it. Its oodles of fun.
After the epidural, life was better. The pain stopped. And I progressed to 5 cms. And then I stopped progressing.
My OB was on his way to perform a c-section.
It was close to 10:00 at night.
I had been in labor for close to 20 hours. 98.34% of that was without an epidural. I was tired, deflated, sad, and scared.
The new nurse I had was a not very nice. She prepped me for surgery. She didnt provide me very much comfort. They left Mike behind and wheeled me into a freezing OR. All I could see where the eyes of the people that were going to work on me. The anesthesiologist was not very nice to me. He was blunt and quick. He said he was going to increase the epidural drip.
Mike was finally able to join me in the room. Right at my side. I told him I was scared.
The anesthesiologist put an alcohol prep pad on my face and asked me if it felt cold. Of course it did. Then he put the same pad on my belly, and asked if I felt it. I said yes, it feels cold. He was annoyed.
"BUT, DOES IT FEEL AS COLD AS IT DID ON YOUR FACE?"
I said, "No, I guess not." He told the drs, I was all set, they could proceed.
I felt everything little thing they did to me. Another anesthesiologist was in the room, and she had kind eyes. She told him they were going to put medicine in my IV to help with the pain.
Only a few minutes passed, and I felt this incredible pain. I screamed. And then a mask went over my face. The doctor with the kind eyes told me to breath. I tried to fight her off, but she kept the mask on my face.
There was no oxygen in the mask. Only gas to put me out. I felt like I was dying. And all I could see was this doctors eyes. Only a few seconds later I was out.
And I had a totally insane out of body experience. It totally freaked me out, and I didnt talk about it for quite awhile.
When I was put out there was something spinning in front of me. Like on a string. And there was this terrible constant sound. And I asked "Is this eternity?" And I got the response that yes it was. For eternity I would have to listen to that horrid noise.
Suddenly I was outside, and there was water. A huge pane of glass separated the water in half. To get to the other side, I would have to swim under the glass. I was told that my baby would be on the other side. I jumped in and started swimming under the glass. On the other side, I was swimming toward the surface, but just couldnt get there. I had my arms out stretched, reaching. I couldnt breath and I felt like I would die.
I kind voice told me, "You baby is right here, come get him."
With that I hit the surfacing and woke up in the OR taking in a huge breath and gasping for air.
I heard the sound of a baby crying.
"Is that my baby?"
The nurses said, "Yes it is." 9lbs exactly. Healthy, pink and breathtaking.
I was able to take one look at him, and give him a kiss. And he was whisked away to the NICU, where all c-scetion babies go, for observation. I told Mike to go with Joey. And I passed back out.
About an hour later, I woke up in my room. Everyone was in there. Family and friends. They had been there the entire time, and had watched Joey through the glass in the nursery. They all told me he was beautiful. And they all left so our news little family could be alone.
The not-so-nice-nurse was there doing paperwork. I asked her where Joey was, and that I wanted to see him immediately.
Her suggestion? She wanted to me to sleep, and I could see him in the morning.
Brave woman saying that to a new-mom.
I complained enough that she went and got him. She wheeled him in, and went back to her seat in my room to finish my chart. Mike stood over him.
I was like GIVE HIM TO ME.
Mike had never held a baby before. And he had no idea. The nurse barked at him to just pick him up. She wasnt very helpful.
But, Mike did it. And at last I had my baby in my arms. He was absolutely beautiful. Seriously, he was the cutest little newborn. So chubby and just perfect in every way.
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